Friday, November 30, 2007

Is It Just Me?

For so long, I have stayed away from writing about this because I figured certain people might not take it the right way and it might strike some controversy, but now that I think about it, when has controversy ever been my enemy? Never! So I apologize, but I can no longer keep my peace. Seriously speaking, all things being equal, how much should an engagement ring cost?

Let me make my stand known. I, Vera Ezimora, do solemnly swear that I cannot and will not appreciate a cheap ring. I will take it, but I cannot appreciate it. Now, I do not expect him to rob a bank or remain in perpetual debt because he wants to buy my ring (unless he insists, of course), but common, cut me some slack.

This is the way I think about it: if you can finance an eight hundred dollar camera and a one thousand dollar computer, then why not a six thousand dollar ring? Seriously who says you have to pay everything at once? Likewise, I do not want my husband wearing a cheap ring either. I know men do not generally care too much for their bands, but I do.

I have been in perpetual disagreement with my friends, Funmi and Busola. Actually, Busola and I are on opposite ends; she does not care how much her ring costs while Funmi and I completely agree that the ring should cost a little something-something. Know what I mean? Funmi wants her ring to cost at least ten thousand dollars, but she will settle for nine (funny, I know). I, on the other hand, do not have a particular amount, but I do know the ring I want, and I know it is at least five thousand dollars. If it means anything to you, Uju is on our side.

I am glad that I have one Yoruba girl on our side because you know how we (Igbo girls) are famous for being famous gold diggers. Needless to say, any gold digger that will accept a five thousand dollar ring cannot be a true gold digger; she needs some lessons. That being said, I am removing myself from the list of gold diggers – just in case you have put me there.

I am not someone who is big on jewelry; in fact, my everyday life does not consist of me wearing any jewelry apart from my wrist watch. If you were to run into me on the street, you would probably think I am a member of one of those churches that do not believe in wearing jewelry. I need not mention any names. I only have time for jewelry when I am actually going somewhere – as in attending a function. And when I do attend those functions, the jewelries I wear do not put dents in my account. Can you believe that at my age I do not have one single real diamond? Do not be fooled by the sparkly things I wear; they are all fake, but I do not mind really…at least not yet. Of course, if you are considering buying me a real diamond, I would be foolish to say no. Speaking of things I do not have at my age, can you believe I have received flowers only twice? And both times, I got them from the same guy (an admirer). Do not let me bore you with my tales of woe.

But when it comes to my engagement ring, I refuse to compromise. I can wear my fake jewelries for a few hours and take them off, but my engagement ring stays on twenty-four-seven. I get to meet a lot of brides-to-be on a daily basis, and some of them do not even have to say they are engaged before you know it. The sparkle from their rings is enough to blind you. Sadly, the brides with the sparkling rings are hardly Nigerians. Or Africans. Only a handful have been descendants from the Motherland. For some other women, of course, you can hardly even notice they are engaged. When they tell me they are engaged, I have to dilate my eyes to two hundred percent to find the rings. Sometimes, I want to say something ignorant, like “Oh, is that your ring? I thought that was just glitter from your lotion!” The only reason I do not say it is because I am afraid of getting beaten up. You know I cannot fight.

I am not an inconsiderate person – at least not to my knowledge, so I do not expect a man who truly cannot even afford to make the monthly payments to buy me such a ring, so in such a case, I will most definitely compromise. But I will do it in hopes of a better tomorrow. In other words, I will do it in hopes that my ring will be upgraded in the nearest future. However, if he can afford it, but simply thinks it is a waste of money, then we are going to have a problem. Whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well, right? If my fiancĂ© (whom I do not have right now) gets me a ring I do not want, I will be crying during the proposal, but they would not be tears of joy. I bet you know what I will be crying for.

Am I asking for too much? I do not think I am. I am not asking that he buys me bracelets every month (although that will be good); I am not asking that he even goes to Jared every Valentine’s Day (although that will also be good); and I am most certainly not asking that my engagement ring be from Harry Winston (although the thought of it causes sweat beads of joy to form on my forehead). All I am asking for is my engagement ring – the one I want – the one with the visible diamond, set on platinum (not gold, thank you!). Will he not gloat and bask in the glory when other people praise him for my ring? Will his head not get swollen when other women tell me how lucky I am to have him? Have I asked for too much? Will I not wear this ring everyday for the rest of my life? Should I not be entitled to a ring that will not fade after a few months or years? Is it so bad for me to adore the ring my husband has so beautifully adorned on my finger? I know you know the answers to my questions.

So I ask again, is it just me? Surely, there has to be someone else (apart from Funmi and Uju) who believes that an engagement ring should cost a pretty penny. Of course, it is what the ring represents that truly counts, so why not make it count for a lot? The weight of my big diamond is enough to remind me that I belong to someone. But if I am forced to wear a light weight ring, I cannot be blamed for forgetting that I am engaged (or married). And you know what will happen when I forget.

Diamonds are forever. Heavy diamonds are forever and ever and ever…and then some!


You're welcome to reach me...
verastic@yahoo.com
http://verastic.blogspot.com
http://veraezimora.blogspot.com
443-834-7374

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes it is just you!
When I proposed to my wife 14years ago the ring was $79.99 at Sears. it is not the size of the ring but the meaning of the ring. After the ring, what is next? Eating gari and eba and making a frequent trip to mcDonald because he spent all of his money on ring? Question? Until the lucky fellow can steal the money for the ring, he should not approach you for marriage?
Ask you friend, the Sari's, wedding is very costly, dont you want him to save the money for a beautiful wedding like the Busola? (smiling) Thanks Busola for this month montgage (inside joke).

Anonymous said...

As a guy, I almost agree with Headmaster. But, my future Iyawo must have something other guys can see from afar and only approach if they can afford a bigger rock and of course swing a bigger cock. That's just me.

Babz said...

Why would I step up if I can't deliver? But the real question is what am I delivering? The big rock, or a rocking lifetime together that money can't buy.
Following VH,won't you rather sacrifice d bigger rock 4 a bad ass wedding (bigger rock can come later) and nwaahaba,I love the swinging a bigger cock angle. It ain't all about the rock(Benjamins)...

Good 2 hv u back

Anonymous said...

lol Vera, no u didnt bring this up. Well u know i stand with my sistas on this one. Hooray!!! for the heavy diamonds.

Noni Moss said...

DId you really just put your number online? Whoa!

And it's not just you - my ideal ring is at least 12,500 and onwards depending on the carat of the diamond ;-)

Ms. Catwalq said...

I agree

Unknown said...

Nne. Na you biko!!!

Diamonds - Heavy diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Take care and all the best!

shhhh said...

diamonds are forever, forever, forever, he sings..........

Vera Ezimora said...

Village Headmaster: Na you know ooo. Busola's wedding is Busola's wedding. My wedding will be mine, and my ring will also be mine. LOL. $79.79 ke? I'll put that ring in your fufu, so you can swallow it.

Nwaahaba: I like the way you're thinking.

Babzent: I want a nice, classy wedding. I want all the people that matter to be there. That does not mean I want to have the entire state @ my wedding. However, I refuse to sacrifice my rock. chei!

Seun Al: You go girl! You're very smart. And yes, of course, I brought this up.

Noni Moss: Fear not; no one will come between us. LOL

Catwalq: Thanks love.

Ifeoma: Thanks oh my sistah. Diamonds are definitely a gal's bestfriend. Help me explain to these men, please.

King of Scotland: Yes, they are indeed, aren't they?

Vera Ezimora said...

Village Headmaster: Na you know ooo. Busola's wedding is Busola's wedding. My wedding will be mine, and my ring will also be mine. LOL. $79.79 ke? I'll put that ring in your fufu, so you can swallow it.

Nwaahaba: I like the way you're thinking.

Babzent: I want a nice, classy wedding. I want all the people that matter to be there. That does not mean I want to have the entire state @ my wedding. However, I refuse to sacrifice my rock. chei!

Seun Al: You go girl! You're very smart. And yes, of course, I brought this up.

Noni Moss: Fear not; no one will come between us. LOL

Catwalq: Thanks love.

Ifeoma: Thanks oh my sistah. Diamonds are definitely a gal's bestfriend. Help me explain to these men, please.

King of Scotland: Yes, they are indeed, aren't they?

Unknown said...

LOL, I'd go with my man everyday over a 20billion dollar ring...at the end of the day, we are happy, faithful to each other & we are living a good life together. Gosh, what more can a girl ask for??

Nine said...

Nne,you are on your own o.

Six grand for a ring?Financing?For an ENGAGEMENT ring?And people wonder why men are commitment shy:)

UnNaked Soul said...

what would u prefer? a big rock or a big cock? cos the guys with the big rock buys that to compensate for the lil cock. and when a guy with big cock buys u a big rock be sure he's going to buy many more during his life time *wink*

p.s. this is not excuse for the $79.99 coca-cola ring :-D (but seriously, its the thought that counts)

Vera Ezimora said...

AnnEngineer: That's good, babe. I do not suggest or recommend that you pick a ring over your man. Of course not.

Nine: LOL. So you're just gonna leave me hanging, huh? Well, I guess it's different strokes for different folks. But it's all good sha.

UnNaked: So lemme ask you something: are you gonna get your future fiancee a big rock or not?

UnNaked Soul said...

@vera: you for kukuma ask weda i get big cock! naughty girl. come find out na. make i use i rock take stone u... lol

Vera Ezimora said...

UnNaked: LOL. Wetin you dey stone me 4? I no kuku ask about the size now. All I asked was if you will buy a big rock or not. That's all. LOL. So, will you? Make you no dey shy oo. You know you can tell me anything. If the answer is yes, I won't feel differently about you. Hehehe.

Anonymous said...

ON ENGAGEMENT RINGS: http://www.slate.com/id/2167870/

miz-cynic said...

i agree with u 100%, i will take it but i will not appreciate it and i dont think its abt being materilaistic either , i THINKM ITS ABT KNOWING HOW MUCH URE WORHT TO HIM OR HOW COMMITTED HE IS INTO WANTING UI TO KNW HE;'S SERIOUS ABT THE DARN ENGAGEMENT, IMAGINE ONE EX THT ACTUALLY SAID""RING YII DE JOO TOOOTO....HE HE HE),-this means(dis ring evn managed to luk like the real thn o....he he he how obtuse can anyone b?

miz-cynic said...

and mr unnaked soul,thr are still decent men oput thr wu, hv big cocks,not only tht, knw hw to use,will buy big rock,and will still respect u on top, and celebrate the whole act of giving u the big rock with their big cock,what are u telling me!

Flourishing Florida said...

i wanted a really big ring, but wen i saw it was going to b too expensive 4 us i decided to go 4 a smaller one. sometimes wen i see celebrities wit their enormous rings i feel a bit envious, but i told myself dat in d future, wen we have more money, we'd get myself a bigger ring. but who knows, i may have lost interest in it den. am not really one 4 jewelries, a couple of days i've forgotten to wear my ring.& i can imagine worrying abt someone stealing my huge diamonds

ibiluv said...

in Lagos?
a 6k ring?

i no fit!!!!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

Never eer a 6k ring in Lagos?
But really the ring can come from any where in d world, but it must have taste and class.
My ring must represent how much value he has for me.
@ Vera.. dont mind Unnaked.. he just want to use style to advertise his big rocky cork..LOL
And is not just you, everywomen want the best of rings in the world.

Anonymous said...

I agree with u vera about the amount of the ring......Which is why before my husband-to-be propose he would have factored the ring amount into his budget.....