Sunday, March 05, 2006

All Hail The Inter-Galactic Force Of Girlfriends

Yeah, I know what everyone is thinking, “It’s Vera again”. Well, yes indeed, it is me again. A lot of things have happened to me lately, and they have really opened up my eyes a lot. They have really taught me that in reality, not all that glitters is gold. In fact, majority of what glitters is only gold plated, so after only a little wear, they begin to show their true colors.


I notice that we (females) do not spend enough time appreciating our girlfriends. We may talk about our family and lovers… especially lovers, but we do not give enough credit to our girlfriends, and that’s either because our friends are not worth being mentioned, or because we are just too blind or maybe ungrateful to realize the influence of our friends in our lives. In my case, I know what my friends mean to me, so I am here to hail them because they are worth it.


It sounds like such a cliché, but good girlfriends are those ones that are there through thick and thin. They are the friends that will tell you the truth no matter how much it may hurt to hear it. They are the ones that will not stand and watch someone walk all over you; your pain is your girlfriends’ pain. Boyfriends (and unfortunately, husbands sometimes too) may come and go, jobs come and go, money comes and goes, but good girlfriends stay. Good girlfriends are hard to find and even harder to keep, unlike bad friends who are easier to acquire and even easier to discard.


I have been Blessed enough to have real girlfriends, so now, I have my very own inter-galactic force of girlfriends. Please, allow me to tell you a little about them.


Sola: Born Oluwabusola Osun, is my best friend; we have been friends since 2000 (unfortunately), and she is from Ondo State. Even after five (almost six) years of friendship, I am proud to say that we still have great chemistry. The other night, we talked on the phone until the wee hours of the morning. We talked about absolutely nothing. We had that type of conversation that at the end when you look at how much times has gone by, you ask yourself “what the hell did we talk about?”. Apart from that though, she is someone that I can give the shirt on my back to (as long as she gives me something to cover up my front, of course). She’s a trouble maker who will gladly and readily torture her enemies or anyone she feels has not been fair to any of her friends. Can it really get better? I must say however that though she may have a sharp mouth, she really does not have the physical strength to back it up (but that’s a secret anyway). I cannot go without mentioning that Sola is a hopeless romantic. She fantasizes so much (of impossible things) that I often call her Theresa Lopez Fitzgerald (of Passions, the NBC daytime soap opera). More times than I care to remember, I find myself telling her to “shut the hell up!”


Funmi: Born Oluwafunmilayo Aladeseyi, is from Ondo State; we have been friends since 2002, and she is one in a million. She’s one of those friends that you hear of or dream of, but actually never meet (just like a romantic Nigerian man). Funmi is one of those friends that you can rely on to be there for you when you need her. She will be there for you come hell or high water; she might be extremely late, but she will be there. However, her inability to say “no” is sometimes viewed as not having a backbone. She is a wonderful cook nonetheless…. *hint hint* for the fine single, eligible Nigerian men out there (although we have been trying to get her to cook a little less often, as people are beginning to see her good gestures as an obligation of hers, rather than her sheer choice and good heart at work, but anyways…). I cannot go without mentioning how supportive Funmi has been of my writing; she is always asking me how far I have gone with my book, and she is always on my neck about finishing it. Her enthusiasm for my book has been very encouraging. Thanks Funmi!


Uju: Born Obianuju Nnameka, is from Anambra State; I met her in 2003, and she is definitely one of a kind. When I first met her, I did not like her because I thought she had a stand-offish kind of attitude. Funmi was actually the link between us; she was Funmi’s friend and I was Funmi’s friend too. Today however, she is a proud partner of the inter-galactic force of girlfriends…. loyal girlfriends, to be more precise. We have always known Uju as the “big mouth” of us, but truth be told, her big mouth is a Blessing to us all because a lot of times, she says things that we are thinking but too spineless or maybe nice to say so (just like Madea from Tyler Perry’s Madea‘s Family Reunion. Speaking of Tyler Perry, is the man good or what? The fact that he is six and half feet tall is a plus, of course, but anyways…). Her big mouth is just honesty and straight forwardness in a new dimension. Uju is not the type that will sugar coat anything for anyone. You know how they say “if you can’t handle the heat, don’t enter the kitchen” right? Well, the same goes for Uju. If you cannot handle the truth, then do not ask her cause she always tells the hardcore truth…most times.


Toha: Born Anyatoha Kamanu, is such a very, very sweet girl. I do not know how else to describe her. Toha has something very unique about her, and that’s her laugh; it is heard from miles away (and I am not exaggerating). When I enter a building, and I’m trying to spot Toha, all I have to do is listen for her laugh, and I will find her. She is from Abia State, and I met her in 2002. She is the perfect combination of beauty and the brains, so you do not have to decide which one you want because she is both. Yes indeed, she is. She is the type of friend that will always lend a helping hand, and always be in support. There is something else about Toha that I have to talk about, and that is her humility. She is so humble and very down to earth; you should hear her thanking you. She thanks you even when she does something for you...hmm, never seen anything like it before (but after meeting her mom, I can understand where she gets her humility from).


Jennifer: Born Jennifer McNair, is another sweet friend I met in 2002 too. She will always tell you the blunt truth, just like Uju, but the only difference is that Jennifer would at least prepare you for it. Her mother is from Ogun State, and her father is African American, though Jennifer considers herself Nigerian. Make no mistake, she is indeed very Nigerian. Talking to her alone is enough for you to know just how special she is, but unfortunately for you (guys), she is not single. Some lucky guy has snatched her away, and is not ever going to let her go. A few months ago, Jennifer blew my mind away when she offered me something I did not expect her to; I have to say I fell in love with her. She is just too much. She is a friend I will not be letting go either.


Ibukun: Ibukunoluwa Odetoye, is from Kwara State, and I met her in 2002. She is the black sheep among us, or so to say (and I do not mean that in a bad way). Her thinking patterns are different from the rest of us, but she is still a girlfriend. One thing I have noticed about Ibukun over the period I have known her is her generosity. She is always giving and giving; well, at least she is always giving to me. Sometimes she takes us all out to lunch, even when she does not have a job. Ibukun truly is a very sweet girl, and just like the rest of the girlfriends, she will be there for you when you need her (like when she takes a twenty-minute drive to my house to fix my computer. Of course, I could have taken my computer to her house, but it is kind of hard carrying a desktop computer around).


Now that I have told you all about my friends, I hope you do not take it as a cue to stalk them, but in case you decide to, I would like to state a disclaimer that I am not responsible for the actions of anyone (to my friends) due to this article. With that being said, tell me, do you not think that I am wonderfully Blessed? I have so many other things I could have written about (like err, I don‘t know….men?), but I can always do that later. For now, I would rather talk about the people that put a smile on my face everyday.


For a lot of us (Nigerian females), we do not have that relationship with our mothers where we can say, “Mom, you would not believe what [boyfriend’s name] did”. Like I said, a lot of us do not have that relationship; I’m not saying all of us do not have the relationship. Who then do you call when you need some relationship advise, or when you need someone to calm you down (verbally) and stop you form committing murder in the first degree? That’s right, your girlfriends.


Sometimes, you just need someone to say “yes, you’re right; he’s wrong”, so who do you call then? That’s right, your girlfriends again. Of course they will say you are right, and of course they will not care what he did or why he did it; as long as you think you are right, they will always have your back. Who do you call when your boss gives you a tough time at work? Your girlfriends again. Who do you call when your car breaks down on I-95 and you’re panicking because you’ve got that all-important interview that your livelihood depends on? You got that right, your girlfriends! (right after you call a mechanic, of course).


To my friends: I hope your eyes do not get misty when you are reading this (especially Funmie and Sola). Without a doubt, you’re all a Blessing to me, and I hope that some day, you’ll meet the Adam whose rib you have in you (more details about that in an upcoming article).


So my wonderful ladies and gentlemen, would you please all stand and hail the inter-galactic force of girlfriends. They deserve a standing ovation…don’t you think?